Épisode Deuxièmes chances S05E23 - Awkward Saison 5

SCU

Jenna: Luke had gotten me an interview with the dean of the English department. SCU had been my dream school, and I was beyond excited to have a second chance to come here. Their creative writing program was one of the best in the country, and I was trying to remain calm and confident, which was a challenge given that they had already rejected me once.

Luke: You nervous?

Jenna: You really don't need to be. No, I'm not vernous. Nervous. I'm not nervous.

Jenna: The truth was, my stomach was in my throat and I had already peed three times.

Luke: Dean Strauss already likes your writing, and you know exactly what to say in the interview. I think you got a great shot, and I'll be right outside waiting.

Jenna: And I think... I need to make another pit stop.

Luke: And you'll know exactly where all the bathrooms are on campus.

Jenna: Luke was right. I did have a great shot. I just had to focus on sounding smart and charming and ambitious and hungry all at the same time. I wouldn't let my nerves distract me. I wouldn't let anything distract me, not even that girl's amazing gladiator sandal boots. How did she lace those things up? Wait. I had to keep it together.

SCU: bathroom

Jenna: You belong here.

Dean Strauss: I'm not so sure about that. You do realize this is the men's room, right?

SCU: Dean Strauss’s office

Jenna: Showtime. Well, so far, the receptionist seemed nice, and such a comfy office. I was feeling good about it.

Jenna: Oh.

Dean Strauss: Well, nice to see you again.

Jenna: Um, I was just looking through your pictures. It's nice to see you again. I am Jenna Hamilton, and I am confident that SCU will provide the most enriching learning experience possible.

Dean Strauss: And I am confident that you are one of the more interesting candidates I'll be seeing this round.

Palos Hills Country Club: restaurant

Patrick: Oh, isn't that your friend Sadie from the clambake?

Tamara: I don't want to talk about it.

Patrick: So what do you want to talk about?

Tamara: Me? Nothing.

Patrick: Okay, uh, that's cool.

Tamara: Cool.

Patrick: It's just that you said you wanted to talk to me about something.

Tamara: Okay, just TBH, it's feeling a little naggy. Jus... Okay, I'm... I'm poor. I don't even have enough money to afford the lobster Cobb, which is what I'm dying for... I need that bourgie-buttered-bottom-feeder fix so bad, not this gross iceberg wedge.

Patrick: Hey, we're all a little cash poor sometimes. It's nothing to be upset about. I mean, I could have spotted you for the lobster Cobb. Grammy's got a club account.

Tamara: Patrick, you don't understand. I'm not just cash poor. I'm everything poor. I don't come from a rich family. I'm only upper middle class.

Patrick: Wow. Oh, come on, who cares?

Tamara: I care. I've been leading you to believe that I'm like you.

Patrick: Honestly, when you didn't know where Bora Bora was... But it's not important.

Tamara: But it is. I haven't been truthful, and I feel guilty, like you don't even know the real me. So if you don't want to pursue this...

Patrick: Oh, I'm pursuing this. You're awesome. Who cares if you don't have money? What do you think credit cards are for?

Palos Hills Country Club: bar

Jake: Lissa! Check it out.

Lissa: Ew, that sign-in sheet's so messy.

Jake: It's 'cause there's five times as many signatures as there should be. Lissa, this is your class. Members are pissed that they have to be on a waiting list.

Lissa: That's good, right?

Jake: It's awesome! We should add more classes to the schedule.

Lissa: PTL, that would be awesome. If I could get, like, $50 a week more, it would totally help pay for Styrofoam crosses.

Jake: How is the video doing?

Lissa: I don't know. Every time I try to log in, it says server busy. So annoying. Holy shit! "Prayer Arms" has over 10,000 views.

Jake: What? Wow. Too bad we can't charge 'em all admission.

Lissa: Jakey, scratch those extra classes. We have more videos to make.

Classroom

Matty: Hey... Oh, uh, your bag. Look, I get it. You're mad.

Lacey: Not at all. So what if you didn't show and we failed the presentation? And what's so bad about a D average? I mean, when I decided to take summer classes after spending the last two semesters busting my ass while taking care of a baby full-time, I thought to myself, "Hey, Lace, don't sweat it. Just try to at least get a D."

Matty: I know. I screwed up. And for what it's worth, you were right. Sully was a bad influence, and we broke up.

Lacey: Oh, Matty, that's good. I really didn't see it going anywhere, and, hey, maybe when the professor is calculating my final grade, I can go to her and just explain that my presentation was ruined because Sully was a bad influence!

SCU: Dean Strauss’s office

Dean Strauss: All right, Jenna, I suppose we need to get down to some more serious stuff. Can you in, say, 25 words or less describe some of the more profound neologisms utilized by James Joyce in "Finnegans Wake"?

Jenna: Uh, I... I'm trying to recall some of the most profound ones, but I can't because I'm not totally clear on what a neologism is. Uh, I couldn't get through it without falling asleep. I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry.

Dean Strauss: Are you joking? Nobody likes "Finnegans Wake." It is the most pompous, pretentious bag of... Well, let's just say I thought I'd be in preparations for my wake by the time I got through it. No, Jenna, creative writing is about what interests you. Your writing stands on its own. Your transcript speaks for itself. I just like to get a sense of where my students' heads are at.

Jenna: Cool. Thank you.

Dean Strauss: So you will need to submit an application, of course. Do it, and I will see you in September.

Jenna: Wait. Are you saying...

Dean Strauss: Just submit the application, Jenna, and I'll take care of the rest. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got some other candidates to terrorize.

SCU

Luke: Tell me again. How'd he say it?

Jenna: "Submit the application, and I'll take care of the rest."

Luke: Jenna, you killed. This is amazing.

Jenna: It was amazing. I'd dreamed of this day for so long.

Luke: Best library on campus, by the way. Ooh, and over here, you have to check out this coffee place. Lattes like you've never had before. And here, Jenna Hamilton, is the home of the world's best Thai peanut salad.

Jenna: Actually, Luke Mallon, the home of the world's best Thai peanut salad is just a few miles south of Bangor, Maine, in the basement of the student union.

Luke: They have Thai food in Maine?

Jenna: Well, it was a lunch special one week. Oh, but they had these incredible haddock sandwiches that I used to be so into before I went vegetarian. I kind of want to go back not vegetarian just so I can have one.

Jenna: And in that moment, I had the saddest thought ever. I might never go back there. I might not get to have another haddock sandwich. I might not see my tiny little dorm that I shared with Britta, and my friends.

Luke: Oh, and if you need something scanned or copied, this place is, like, 2¢ cheaper a page.

Jenna: But I didn't want anything scanned. I wanted a haddock sandwich. What was up with that?

Sadie’s bedroom

Matty: Sorry, Ally let me in, and she was gonna come tell you, but then she got distracted by QVC.

Sadie: It's morning; she likes to watch people order bad jewelry while she works through the shakes.

Matty: So listen. I could use a friend.

Sadie: Ugh, for what. So overrated. Well, not you. You're okay. But don't get me started on everyone else. I mean, why is everyone such a pussy? Like it's my fault. Why is everyone mad at me?

Matty: A lot of that going on right now, which is why I need a favor.

Palos Hills Country Club: gym

Jake: Okay, camera's speeding. Make sure the boom's out of the way. Lots of energy, everybody! And... Hit it!

Lissa: Praise and raise! Praise and praise again! Lift to the Lord! And lift again!

Derek: Jake, what is this? Meet me in my office tomorrow morning, 9:00 a.m. sharp.

Jake: Oh...

Parking

Tamara: What are you doing here?

Patrick: Just in case the sunscreen isn't enough for that cute face. Pack your overnight bag. I'm taking you to Catalina for a long weekend.

Tamara: OMG, that sounds so fun, but I have to work.

Patrick: But it's the weekend.

Tamara: Did you not hear the part about $12,000 in credit card debt?

Patrick: Oh, yeah, when you were crying into your iceberg wedge? Definitely heard that part. But this is my treat.

Tamara: You don't get it. If I'm gonna get myself out of the buttload of debt I'm in, I'm gonna have to work every weekend and generate some serious ad sales. But go. Have fun.

Patrick: Bye.

Tamara: Bye.

Luke’s apartment

Luke: Not crazy about the curry?

Jenna: What? No, I was just thinking about all the stuff I'm gonna have to do if I make this move.

Luke: Wait. If you make this move?

Jenna: Wait. Did I say that? No, what I meant was just that everything's happening so fast.

Luke: I thought you really wanted this.

Jenna: I did. I mean, I do. I do... Definitely think this is what I want.

Luke: Think?

Jenna: Think bordering on 100% totally know.

Luke: Wow, I can't believe you'd even be on the fence about it. I kind of went to a lot of trouble. I pushed Dean Strauss to read your material. Jenna, am I pushing you?

Jenna: No, it's just, this is a huge opportunity for me, and I want to make sure that I'm not giving up anything I'll regret.

Luke: Which seems to be an ongoing concern of yours.

Jenna: Wow, it was amazing how one intuitive sentence spoken by Luke could so easily sum up my life.

Jenna: Look, it's just a big change and a big decision.

Luke: Well, at the risk of pushing, I hope you make it soon, because I would love for you to be here to share this with me. I think it would be good for you.

Jenna: Think?

Palos Hills Country Club: Derek’s office

Jake: Look, I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't have been filming without permission, but Lissa's classes fill up constantly, so...

Derek: I've been watching you, Rosati. There have been some major hiccups… But overall, I like what I see.

Jake: Thanks.

Derek: You follow orders. You know how to spin bullshit to suck up to the important members. And I'm gonna be honest with you... I see a little of me in you. I'd like to offer you a raise.

Jake: I'll take it.

Derek: With an increased responsibility and a small promotion.

Jake: Wow.

Derek: Rosati, I assume you have a five-year plan.

Jake: Oh, yeah, I hope to continue working here.

Derek: I was just like you. I took this job right out of high school, and I've been here 20 years.

Palos Hills Country Club: restaurant

Lissa: I'm so sorry, Jakey. I didn't mean to get you fired.

Jake: I got promoted.

Lissa: This is such great news. Congratulations! I think this is a sign. God is super happy with my Atonercise videos! Wait. What's wrong? I thought this is what you wanted.

Derek: Mrs. Parriott, I am so sorry about the hand soap in the ladies' powder room. The vendor stopped producing the lavender rosemary that you like so much, and as a token of our sincerest apologies, I would like to present to you a $100 gift card which is redeemable at any of our pro shops and spa experiences.

Idea Bin

Jenna: Hey.

Britta: Oh, my God, Jenna. I miss you so much.

Jenna: I miss you too.

Britta: I just heard from housing. We got upgraded to an off-campus apartment.

Jenna: Shut the fuck up. Really?

Britta: With a dishwasher and a kitchen. And look, my mom got us matching comforters. She had a bunch of those 20% off coupons, and we just went crazy. You are gonna love the stuff I got for our new place.

Jenna: Oh, Britta, I love them, and I can't wait to see them in person.

Jenna: Okay, what was I doing? Was I lying? How could I tell my friend that I was probably never gonna set foot at Wyckoff again?

Jenna: Britta, there's actually something I need to tell you.

Lizzy: Anytime you're ready, Jenna.

Jenna: Uh, I got to go, but I'll talk to you later.

Britta: Oh, yeah, okay.

Jenna: Bye.

Idea Bin: briefing

Lizzy: And finally, as you know, I am in the process of completing reviews for all editorial fellows.

Jenna: I wasn't sure if it was my imagination or my own guilty conscience,  but it felt like everything Lizzy was saying was directed at me.

Lizzy: These reviews are comprised of ratings on all materials submitted, whether published or not, and will be a key factor in determining which, if any, of you will be asked to return to Idea Bin for another summer… That's all.

Jenna: Oh, she's so over me now that we're a couple. There's no way I'm getting asked back.

Luke: Doesn't matter. You have SCU.

Jenna: Oh, my God, I'm not getting asked back?

Luke: We don't know that. I'm just saying, with your talent and the contacts you're gonna make at SCU, you'll find someplace way better than Idea Bin.

Later

Tamara: Patrick? Are you stalking me?

Patrick: What?  No, of course not. That's... May... Yeah, a little bit. Possibly.

Tamara: That is so cool.

Patrick: These are for you. You know, for working all weekend while I go goof off.

Tamara: Oh, that is so sweet.

Patrick: So, um, listen. I've been thinking about stuff.

Tamara: Oh, okay. It's okay. I get it. I totally understand.

Patrick: I mean, I get that you have to work.

Tamara: Patrick, it's really okay. It's my fault. I should have been more honest.

Patrick: I just, like... I really don't want to have to keep asking you to miss work for me. So how about winter vacation? My folks have a chalet in Gstaad. It's so crazy. Like, Bono lives next door. It's dope snow and sweet fondue.

Tamara: Oh, my God, that sounds amaze, but there's a good chance I'll have to be working then too.

Patrick: I don't know that you will.

Tamara: Do you know how long it takes to pay off 12 grand?

Patrick: Yeah, about 30 seconds. Let me pay it off for you.

Tamara: What? No, that's... That's crazy! Wh... You would really do that?

Patrick: Yeah, I would. Babe, 12K's nothing. It's not worth stressing over. You can start over with a clean slate.

Closet

Matty: Hey, Sadie, do you mind grabbing the dolly? Or, yeah, I could just grab it myself.

Sadie: Give me a sec.

Matty: "Lamest video I've ever seen. If God exists, wouldn't he protect you from this crap?" What are you doing?

Sadie: Leaving feedback on Lissa's stupid Atonercise video.

Matty: What? Why would you do that?

Sadie: 'Cause people on YouTube need honest reviews to help them decide what to watch... Duh.

Matty: Don't you think that's a little mean? What did Lissa ever do to you?

Sadie: Please, you think Lissa's some angel? She's a total bitch.

Matty: "Bitch" is about the last word I would use to describe Lissa.

Sadie: Yeah, well, that's because you're not very astute.

Matty: Oh, so now you're insulting me?

Sadie: What, you're gonna be all sensitive now? Lissa pissed me off, so she's getting what she deserved. And Tamara and Sergio are also on my list. They're lucky I don't comment on them too... Oh, my God, that's genius. I'm gonna invent Yelp but for actual people. You're welcome.

Hamilton’s house: kitchen

Jenna: Okay, so big news. I'm pretty sure I want to go to SCU.

Lacey: Oh, honey, I know, but they didn't accept you.

Jenna: No, I'm reapplying. I think I'm gonna get in.

Lacey: What? Really? Sweetie, that is amazing. I'm so proud. Wait. Why?

Jenna: Because it's SCU.

Lacey: But you love Wyckoff, and you're doing so great there... And Luke is here. And why does it take me so long to catch on to things? I need to stop breast-feeding. My brains are being sucked out through my...

Jenna: Mom! This is not about Luke.

Lacey: But isn't this exactly what you told Matty not to do for you?

Jenna: Totally different. I've wanted to go to SCU since before I even met Luke. Luke has nothing to do with it.

Lacey: Honey, he does... And that's okay. I'll support you whatever you do, but know what you're doing. Call it what it is.

Classroom

Frau Hoetzinger: Guten Tag. Wie gehst?

Lacey: Mein internsmutts.

Matty: Hallo alle sacht? I know we blew it before. Totally my fault but since our project was going to be based on the foods of Germany, my partner and I have prepared a surprise for the entire class.

Lacey: We have?

Matty: Frau?

Lacey: Lein. Fraulein.

Matty: Would you all follow us this way, please? Kommen Sie! [Speaking German]

Frau Hoetzinger: Um Frieden!

Matty: Frieden!

Street

Lacey: So what are we doing? It might have been nice if you had given me a little bit of a heads-up about whatever this...

Sadie: Guten Tag. Was werdes du gerne essen?

Lacey: This is awesome.

Later

Frau Hoetzinger: I am very impressed. I hope you don't think for one minute that bribing me with a food truck will change your grade, but it will most certainly make me reconsider rescheduling your formal presentation, one that you both will show up for and be prepared for, yes?

Matty: Yes.

Lacey: Yes! Thank you. Thank you. Matty, this is truly inspired.

Matty: Thanks.

Lacey: So why aren't you happier?

Matty: No, I'm happy. I'm just digesting the kraut.

Lacey: Is this about Jenna?

Matty: No! It... Absolutely not. My... Feeling for Jenna...

Lacey: I knew it! Feelings for Jenna.

Matty: That's not what I meant to say. It's just, you know, we get so pissed at each other, but the feelings never seem to go away. And mine are still in pretty high gear, I guess… What, are you gonna tell me to back off again?

Lacey: Not this time. I am done interfering with all things Jenna and Matty.

Matty: Cool.

Lacey: Cool. What? Why are you looking at me like that? God, I can't stand this. Fine. You broke me. Jenna is thinking of transferring to SCU to be with Luke, so if you really have feelings for her, you better express them really freaking fast.

Matty: What?

Lacey: We never had this conversation. Nein!

Sadie: Whoa! Hamilho's transferring. That so figures. She's probably already banged every guy at Wyckoff, so...

Matty: Do you ever shut up? I'm sorry, what? Lissa's a bitch, Tamara's a jerk, Sergio's an asshole, and now Jenna. Do you ever notice how everyone else is the problem?

Sadie: Constantly.

Matty: You know what, Sadie? If you meet more than two asshole in a day, that asshole is probably you.

Sadie: Go fuck yourself!

Luke’s apartment

Jenna: I knew there was no way Matty would understand my situation. And I really didn't want to debate it with him. I could spend my whole life second-guessing things, being afraid to take advantage of opportunities. Or I could challenge myself. It was decision time... And Matty had just helped me make mine.

Food truck

Sadie: Send message to Matty, Lissa, Jake, and Tamara. Fuck you all. You think I care if we're friends, question mark. I would literally rather die than be friends with you. Ew, no. Too pathetic. Shit!

Phone: Is that language really necessary, Sadie?

Sadie: Fuck you, you stupid robotic bitch!