Épisode Le revers de la médaille S02E12 - Awkward Saison 2

At a party.

Jenna: Spin the bottle. It was a requisite rite of passage. And while I was past my prime to play, it seemed fitting, given all the spiralling I'd done throughout the year.

Clark: I'm gonna take a pass.

Sadie: I knew you'd be out.

Clark: You're right. I'm not into bears. But I will make out with your boyfriend.

Sadie: Good luck with that.

Clark: Pass equals drink.

Jenna: In the game, all decisions were left to the bottle. And for once, the bottle was more fickle than I was.

Lissa: You can choose or spin again… Spin again.

Jenna: The bottle didn't know what I wanted, but I did. Despite already having made a decision...

Lissa: Bottle flip! Seven minutes in heaven for you two.

Jenna: I was still in the closet.

In the closet.

Matty: So what should we do?

Jenna: Put on a show. Mm, yeah, baby.

Matty: Oh, yeah. Oh--

Jake opens.

Jake: You don't have to fake it. I know you're together now. It's cool.

Matty: I told him.

Jenna: I was going to.

Matty: You snooze, you lose.

Jenna: With Jake getting the answer he needed, Matty was clear to be with the girl he wanted. Me. So I made use of my last three minutes of seven... In heaven.

At school.

Tamara: Sophomore summer abroad. We have to go. This year has been crap-tastic, suck-drastic, but if we go to Europe, I can save my summer.

Jenna: How are we gonna pay for it?

Ming: Panties. You can sell your dirty ones to businessmen abroad. How do you think the mafia affords so much sushi? They're a major distributor.

Tamara: Have you sold your underwonders?

Ming: No comment.

Jenna: I'm not selling my underwear. Even if it means I'm stuck here.

Tamara: You're not stuck if you're about to have a real boyfriend summer.

Jenna: The other shoe is poised to drop at any moment. Remember, all good things in my life are closely followed by something bad. Dare you forget, Matty and I haven't DTRed.

Tamara: Oh, tell me we're not gonna be obsessing over that again.

Matty arrives.

Matty: Hey.

He kisses Jenna.

Jenna: Apparently, our BF-GF status didn't need words to define it.

Matty: Will my girlfriend give me a bit?

Jenna: Or "girlfriend" would roll off Matty's tongue and onto my salami.

Matty: Hitting the courts. See you later?

Tamara: You have everything. And all I have is a text from my ex. Ricky is sniffing me out. There's trouble in paradise. Once a cheater, always a cheater.

 

Sadie: Cheater! He's been texting that troll!

Lissa: If he cheated, he would have deleted. But he will cheat if you don't confront him.

Sadie: And let him know I'm snooping? That's really smart.

Lissa: Thank you.

Sadie: I think he's avoiding me. I need to shake things up.

Lissa: No, you need to do what you always do. Put him in his place.

Sadie: Don't tell me how to do what I do, birdbrain.

Lissa: Exactly. Just like that.

Sadie: Hello, this I-- Ricky. Yes, I am answering your phone, because you left it in my car. But-- Since I haven't seen you for two days, I haven't been able to give it back to you. Do you miss me? 'Cause I miss you. All. The. Time. Sure. I can give the phone to Rob to give to Marty to give back to you. And then you can call me, beefcake. No. "Call me, comma, beefcake." You're the beefcake. I love you, babe.

 

Tamara: God, why do exes always have to creep back?

Jenna: But did all exes creep back? And could they creep back as friends?

Jenna: Jake and I haven't really talked, and even though he says he's cool, I don't think he is.

Ming: He looks pretty cool to me.

Jenna: It's a front. None of those skanks are up to par.

Ming: So who is?

Jenna: A girl with substance. Like T.

Tamara: He couldn't handle me. I'm a lot of woman.

Jenna: And if I wanted Jake to be my friend, I needed to be a woman and man up.

In the hallway.

Jake: Thanks. See you guys. Hey.

Jenna: Hey. Crazy seeing you here.

Jake: In the school hallway?

Jenna: No, I-I meant on this route to class.

Jake: I go this way every day.

Jenna: Me too. That is so weird. This is weird. Do you feel weird? 'Cause I'm acting weird. I just--

Jake: Don't. When I said I'd be fine with your decision, I meant it. Might not have been what I wanted, but hey, it's what I needed.

Jenna: Really?

Jake: Jenna, I've been a serial monogamist since the fifth grade. To be honest, I haven't seen this much action since I was 10. Don't get me wrong. You set the bar really high. And it's gonna be a while till I meet someone like you again. But until then... Don't hate the player, hate the game. Well, ladies...

Jake leaves.

Jenna: For once, the universe was actually working in my favour. Which was not cause for celebration. It was setting off alarms. I was...

Valerie: Jenna Hamilton, please report to the office.

Jenna: Thankfully, on my way to a problem.

At Valerie’s office.

Valerie: I am really, really disappointed in you. You're being selfish. You need to work out your issues and get back together.

Lacey & Kevin: We are back together.

Valerie: Damn, I'm good! Uh! Double up. Uh, uh! J. We're having a family meeting.

Jenna: Finally, something bad would happen so I could get on with my day.

Valerie: Closer. Let's get closer. I asked our folks here to have a little state of the union. And it appears that the union is back intact. Is that true?

Jenna: Yes.

Valerie: Good. Now, I think the only way that you can atone for the hell you put us through is to send Jenna on the Europe trip with me. Her sista... Slash-chaperone.

Lacey: That sounds fantastic!

Kevin: But...

Lacey: Oh! But...

Kevin: We can't. Money's a little tight right now.

Valerie: And whose fault is that? Yet again, dad, you're operating from a selfish place. Can't you just cash out some of your retirement fund? I mean, what good is that money when you're old?

Jenna: I don't need to go. I'm just happy that my parents are back together.

Valerie: Just amazing. Now, this is what I call selflessness.

Lacey: How 'bout we think about the trip?

Valerie: That is acceptable. Meeting adjourned.

Kevin: Okay.

Jenna: Isn't there a problem I need to address?

Valerie: Nope. Just have a good day.

Jenna: That was the problem. I needed a problem to have a good day.

In Jenna’s bedroom.

Matty: Everything is perfect.

Jenna: Maybe too perfect. Something bad is bound to happen.

Matty: Mm, not possible.

Jenna: Possible. If you haven't noticed, I'm a walking disaster zone.

Matty: This summer is gonna be the best summer of our lives. Just you, me, and Camp Puka. We're gonna get paid, and you're gonna get laid.

Jenna: Don't get ahead of yourself.

Matty: I don't want to get ahead, I want to get on top.

Jenna: I was being neurotic. The other shoe didn't need to drop for me to get everything I wanted, which involved more of McKibben and less of his clothes.

Lacey & Kevin: Surprise!

Jenna: Ever heard of a knock?

Lacey: We couldn't wait. We had to tell you that... We're sending you to Europe!

Kevin: You're signed, sealed, and paid for.

Jenna: So I wasn't neurotic. I was intuitive. The other shoe had definitely dropped, but it wasn't a sweaty converse. It was a sparkly Manolo Blahnik.

Later.

Matty: Europe.

Jenna: Europe. We are gonna have so much fun when we take in the sights, because we are going on an adventure.

Matty: We are getting ahead of ourselves.

Jenna: Why?

Matty: Because the "we" that is me has already committed to camp.

Jenna: You can get out of it.

Matty: I could, but... I don't want to. I'm gonna be a head counsellor. But that doesn't mean you can't go.

Jenna: I can't go unless you go.

Matty: That's not true. It's six weeks. It'll be over before you know it.

Jenna calls Tamara.

Jenna: "It'll be over before you know it?" What does that even mean?

Tamara: Stop being paranoid and get amped! We're going to Europe!

Jenna: You got the green light?

Tamara: The light isn't just green. It's neon. I walked in on my mom making out with her friend Claire.

Jenna: Your mom's gay?

Tamara: No, she's a lesbutante. She keeps it strictly above the belt. But it was a TS sitch, so my mom is letting me go on the trip to keep me from telling my grandma. Little does she know I'm totes equal opportunity. O-M-G. I have it. Problem solved.

Jenna: Well, tell me.

Tamara: With all my mom's guilt tripping, I bet I could swing a euro trash bash. We'll show McKibben just how much he'll be livin' if he comes with!

Jenna: I don't want to manipulate him.

Tamara: It's not manipulation. It's coercion. Think about it.

Jenna: I was stuck with the hiccups. An annoying series of convulsions disrupting the blood flow from my heart to my head. I wanted to go to Europe. And yet, I was afraid to go without Matty. So there was only one thing left to consider.

In the Hamilton’s living room.

Lacey: You really want to know what I think?

Jenna: Yes.

Jenna: I knew my mom would tell me what I wanted to hear. Stay with the…

Lacey: Go to Europe.

Jenna: Come on, when you were my age, you would've picked Matty.

Lacey: 100%.

Jenna: I rest my case.

Lacey: Jenna, I'm not the best role model.

Jenna: That was a given.

Lacey: Back in the day, when I was with Ben, I had so many opportunities to do things that I really wanted to do, but I didn't do them because he didn't want to.

Jenna: Like what?

Lacey: Camping.

Jenna: Mom, you are not a camper.

Lacey: Who knows? I might be. I do own a battery-operated curling iron. And there were so many times that I never got to dance 'cause Ben didn't like to. I just sat on his lap, and watched everyone around me having fun.

Jenna: Is that why you chose dad? For his white man's overbite?

Lacey: Yes. And someday, he will bust it out for me on a dance floor in Europe. But until we get that chance, we really want you to have it.

Jenna: Surprisingly, my mom was giving good advice. Which left me with one last resort. Manipulation.

At a party.

Jenna: And this is the last stop on our tour. Italy. A country full of pasta and passion.

Matty: Does that mean I could eat pizza off your chest?

Jenna: If you go to Europe.

Ming: I'm gonna bump uglies tonight!

Matty: Code red. She is wasted.

Jenna: I better help T.

Matty: Meet you in Paris?

Matty leaves.

Jenna: How much have you had to drink?

Ming: A... Lot. 'Cause tonight, I'm breaking all the rules. And my hymen. I'm ready for Freddy to get sweaty.

Tamara: Head to Amsterdam and get a condom.

Ming: Oh...

Jenna: She needs to sober up.

Tamara: With a cold shower. I'll take care of it. You just keep hammering Matty.

Jenna: Actually, I think he's warming up.

 

Sadie: Ricky is still being cold, and he's been avoiding me all night. What should I do?

Lissa: Why are you asking me? You don't want my opinion.

Sadie: Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Lissa: Get really drunk, so you throw up, and he has to hold your hair back. Boys like to feel needed.

Sadie: Boys like to watch getting blown, not the blowing of chunks.

Lissa: Then take your own advice. Make him an offer he can't refuse.

Sadie: Like what?

Lissa: God's blind spot. Back door.

 

Jake: Lissa just texted again. I think she wants to hook up.

Matty: What'd she say?

Jake: "Let's hook up." I don't know what happened, but all of a sudden, I'm you. All these girls want a piece of me. Even ally James grabbed my Johnson.

Matty: That's a problem because...

Jake: I was peeing.

Jenna and Tamara arrives.

Jenna: Crisis averted. Ming's drying off and sobering up.

Tamara: Good thing she's not going to Europe. I don't want to babysit.

Jake: Are you going?

Tamara: Totes. I'm signing up on Monday.

Jake: Too late, the trip's full. I took the last slot.

Tamara: Fuck me!

Jenna: I suddenly didn't need to convince Matty to go. I needed to convince myself to stay.

Outside the house.

Ming: What's wrong?

Tamara: Everything. I need your car keys. Good thing it's new, 'cause it's about to experience a serious breakdown.

Tamara leaves, Fred comes.

Ming: Hey.

Fred: This is hello. And good-bye. I'm going to a new school.

Ming: Why?

Fred: My house has been redistricted.

Ming: But your house is right across the street from the school.

Fred: Exactly. Becca's behind it, and she's not going to stop until she destroys me. She'll never let us be together. And quite frankly, I'm afraid she's gonna hurt you.

Ming: I can take care of myself.

Fred: That's the thing, Ming. You can't.

Fred kisses Ming.

Fred: I'll never forget you.

He leaves.

In Ming’s car.

Ming: My relationship is over.

Tamara: Mine never even started.

Jenna: With who?

Tamara: Julio, Pierre, Antonio. Take your pick. And now I'm throwing a party for a trip I can't go on, and there isn't even a dude here to beer goggle with.

Jenna: You're totally overreacting.

Tamara: Let me wallow in the shit show of my life.

Ming: While you do that, I'm gonna revenge-fuck… With Becca. Two can play her game.

Outside the house.

Jake: Help me. I need to hide.

Lissa: Jake?

Jenna: Go. I got you covered.

Jake: Thanks.

Lissa: Jake... Jake.

Jenna: He's not outside.

Lissa: But I just saw him run out here.

Jenna: No, that was Scott... Gold.

Lissa: Scott's black. I get it. Are you and Jake hooking up?

Jenna: No.

Lissa: Then outta my way!

Jake hides in Ming’s car.

Lissa: Jake… Jake. It was you. Weird.

In the car.

Tamara: The coast is clear.

Jake: Oh, thank God.

In the house.

Clark: That was so sweet. I had to memorialize it.

Matty: I'm gonna grab another beer. Lady? Gent?

Clark: I was rooting for you to pick him.

Jenna: I'm worried it's too good to last.

Clark: Stop it.

Jenna: Here's my problem. My parents bought me a spot on the Europe trip, but Matty's not going. We were gonna spend the summer together, and now that plan is shot.

Clark: So don't go.

Jenna: But it's Europe.

Clark: Then go.

Jenna: What if I miss out on something here? What do I do?

Clark: Shake it off. Everything is going your way.

Jenna: It was true. And familiar. Where had I heard that before?

Clark: Trust your gut.

Jenna: My gut was saying I didn't really need to go. But Tamara did. And suddenly, I had the answer to fix two problems with one trip.

In Ming’s car.

Jake: I never thought I would say this, but I can't handle all this female attention.

Tamara: Go. Get out of the car.

Jake: What? Why?

Tamara: Because you're complaining about getting too much action, while my life is on auto-combust.

Jake: What happened?

Tamara: What didn't? This has been the worst year of my life, and now that Europe's off the table, I'm gonna have a sad, lonely summer.

Jake: You're crazy.

Tamara: All right, now you really can go.

Jake: I meant it's crazy for you to think that you can't turn things around.

Tamara: But nobody loves me, or likes me, or even wants to drunkenly dry hump me. So, tell me, Mr. Know-it-all, how am I gonna turn things around?

Jake kisses Tamara. Jenna watches it.

Jake: Do you feel better?

Tamara: That's like asking if I talk fast. Of course I feel better, but you don't have to do the post-make out fake out. We don't have to small talk.

Jake: We should do that again sometime.

Tamara: Okay. How 'bout now?

Jake: Yeah.

They kisses again.

Jenna goes to talk to Clark.

Jenna: Jake and Tamara are making out.

Clark: But you have Matty, so what's the problem? You made your choice.

Jenna: Right. Right. I'm being ridiculous.

Clark: I'm so glad we can do this out in the open.

Jenna: As opposed to...

Clark: Your blog.

Jenna: Are you...

Clark: Not God.

Jenna: Clark was my mysterious commenter.

Outside the house.

Tamara: We need to talk.

Jenna: You made out with Jake.

Tamara: I made out with Jake.

Jenna: I saw you, and I was pissed.

Tamara: But you said he should be with a girl more like me, and who's more like me than me? And it was totally just a rebo…

Jenna: And you have a trip. I'm not going. My spot is yours.

Tamara: Really?

Jenna: Yes. Now, let's celebrate.

They open a door.

Jenna & Tamara: Oh, my God!

Sadie: Have you seen Ricky?

Jenna: He's not in there.

Sadie: Skitch. Were you hooking up with him?

Tamara: Not a chance.

Sadie: Move outta my way.

Tamara: Sadie, you really don't want to go in there.

Sadie: I really don't wanna look at your fugly face. Move!

Tamara: Fine. Your wish is my command.

Sadie opens the door and sees Clark’s kissing Ricky

Sadie: Ricky!

Later.

Sadie: I'm a bitch. But I am not a heartless bitch. I should have seen the signs.

Tamara: What signs? Ricky is not gay, he's just a whore. He'd screw anything, including Detective Nibble Kibbles.

Sadie: Who?

Tamara: My dog. He investigates everyone's crotch except Ricky's. I think Ricky did something to him.

Sadie: But I didn't do anything to Ricky.

Jenna: Neither did Tamara.

Sadie: No, she didn't. But your dork factor really wasn't doing you any favours. Guys... I'm so... Sor… So... I’m…

Sadie falls asleep.

Jenna: She was about to grovel.

Tamara: And I had my phone waiting to record it.

Jenna: Well, we tried.

Tamara: Jenna. Assistance, please?

Jenna: Oh.

Everybody dance in the garden except Matty.

Jenna: I'm staying.

Matty: Why?

Jenna: Because.

Matty: Because.

Jenna: I was gonna have the best summer of my life.

Jenna: I love this song. Let's dance.

Matty: Oh, I'm not much of a dancer. Come here.

Jenna: I finally got what I really wanted... But I wasn't sure it was what I needed.