Over My Dead Body
Valerie needed me to avert career suicide but to help her I would have to commit social suicide…again. I knew I couldn’t make her understand that I didn’t want to have another fake death hanging over my head. So…I lied.
Because it should have made sense that my parents wouldn’t want to promote my stigma. How was I supposed to know that Valerie would SHOW UP TO MY HOUSE!!! Or that my mom would encourage me to make a public display of my suicide stigma as Dead Stacey. Cuz it was cool in 1995 when she played her. According to my mother, Dead Stacey was popular before she got impaled by the glass of Johnny’s windshield. Therefore, playing someone popular would only increase my chances of being seen as popular. In crazy mom logic- this made sense. But what didn’t make sense was my dad’s reluctance to help me get out of it. I was giving him all the “save me!” signals and he couldn’t throw me a line. When I told him that I didn’t want to encourage my suicide stigma- he told me to “Change the coversation.” I was so over my dad and his haiku advice. Change the conversation? I had no idea what that meant. All I knew was that I was stuck between a rock and a dead place. I had been caught in a lie and even though I was convinced Valerie had a touch of Aspergers, I didn’t want her to lose her job. So there was not much I could do but…die.
Au dessus de mon cadavre
Traduction à venir ! ;)